The Mexican Diet Plan

I thought that once I moved to Mexico and started to work part time, away from the evil vending machine in the office and the local cheese store in the neighborhood, excess weight would be shed like my winter parka has been. It would seem I've swapped one bad for another, be it malibu rum blended over ice with pineapple juice, or capuuccino flavored Mezcal, either way, the butt is not getting any smaller.
An acquaintance does accupuncture, very specific accupuncture, which is targeted for weight loss. She came over yesterday and put these little things on my left ear, and then next tuesday she comes over and puts them on my right. Other than the realization that I touch my ears fairly frequently, which I have now become hyper-aware of because I am not supposed to touch my left ear, I don't feel any diffrent. I have known others to have great success with accupressure and accupunture treatments, from treating back pain to quitting smoking, so I thought I would give it a try.
Combined with these treatments is a diet plan, which is really the interesting part. In all the diet and eating plans I have been on, none had Ralph and I sitting by the computer, with the dictionary, looking up what I could and could not eat. The diet plan is fairly simple for the first two weeks, more of a cleanse before you start re-introducing foods. No wheat, no sugar, no fruit, no pasta. Here's where it gets really interesting.

• I can have all the pork crackling I want.
• I can eat nopal cactus until it starts growing out of my ears.
• I can have pigs feet, liver, brains, beast, bone marrow, internal organs including kidney, until my heart in content.
• Although chicken feet were not specifically listed, I am sure they are fine too.

In no Canadian or American diet book that I have seen did it ever suggest I should snack on pork crackling in the event I am hungry between meals.

Deep fried pork skin for snacking.

At least I'll be skinny while I wait for my heart transplant.